lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
