My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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