I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
