Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
