so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
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yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize