what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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