i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
