I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
