The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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