That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They have beer where we have blood.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
