Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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