pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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