you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
