It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
