There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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