I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
