Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
