Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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