Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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