Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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