I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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