we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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