you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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