i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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