you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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