I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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