he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
