I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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