i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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