ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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