Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
