im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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