he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
