I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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