So drunk its hurt
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?