Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.

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  (631): saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious. http://tfl.nu/pwp7
  Replies (35) Good night (4224) Bad night (537)
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  (323): View more from California

  it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

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  (323): it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway http://tfl.nu/ikbt
  Replies (10) Good night (3271) Bad night (1033)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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  (573): You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up. (816): Sorry about that. Except for the cookies. http://tfl.nu/ub9m
  Replies (6) Good night (3068) Bad night (737)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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  (231): I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs http://tfl.nu/sh65
  Replies (17) Good night (1059) Bad night (3145)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch

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  (206): before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch http://tfl.nu/cp10
  Replies (14) Good night (2075) Bad night (732)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.

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  (630): What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday. http://tfl.nu/1egp
  Replies (4) Good night (1614) Bad night (587)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

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  (217): I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right? http://tfl.nu/k5yu
  Replies (11) Good night (600) Bad night (934)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.

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  (970): Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/jvs7
  Replies (9) Good night (1098) Bad night (462)
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  (607): View more from New York

  There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.

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  (607): There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor. http://tfl.nu/j4bf
  Replies (13) Good night (2555) Bad night (640)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...

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  (702): there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya... http://tfl.nu/edke
  Replies (6) Good night (606) Bad night (1031)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro

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  (250): I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro http://tfl.nu/if95
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (217)
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  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

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  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (307) Bad night (817)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....

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  (570): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are.... http://tfl.nu/bp2s
  Replies (5) Good night (496) Bad night (272)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.

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  (317): Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position. http://tfl.nu/8zmk
  Replies (1) Good night (250) Bad night (609)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.

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  (203): It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/uox7
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (267)

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