Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits? http://tfl.nu/zxqx
  Replies (39) Good night (2399) Bad night (3164)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha, bad night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS. (508): Haha, bad night? http://tfl.nu/huzs
  Replies (144) Good night (1453) Bad night (16850)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened. http://tfl.nu/9jlv
  Replies (16) Good night (4989) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up http://tfl.nu/thrv
  Replies (18) Good night (1194) Bad night (3665)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE http://tfl.nu/7vd6
  Replies (9) Good night (1056) Bad night (4661)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end http://tfl.nu/vfas
  Replies (10) Good night (6451) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other http://tfl.nu/z80n
  Replies (14) Good night (1761) Bad night (4292)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it. http://tfl.nu/s0lk
  Replies (16) Good night (3190) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha. http://tfl.nu/8wtq
  Replies (13) Good night (3473) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know? http://tfl.nu/qpy1
  Replies (10) Good night (1859) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear http://tfl.nu/2cuy
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger. http://tfl.nu/vt6v
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book. http://tfl.nu/62om
  Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops. http://tfl.nu/fks7
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off. http://tfl.nu/yiq6
  Replies (4) Good night (362) Bad night (233)

Randomize