Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You ate ashes out of my bong
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
