I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
