Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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