I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
