I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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