at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
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