How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My life is pants optional.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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