Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
