Banned from zoo.
Again?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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