I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
