please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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