Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your cock deserves a montage
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize