Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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