walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
