do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
