i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You're like the curious george of whores
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
