Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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