i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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