its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
