I wannas sexs uuuuu
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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