god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Randomize
