Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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