It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
