she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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