That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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