people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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