I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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