it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize